Mercy (Tisha b’Av 5782)

Just three weeks ago - I stood at the Arch of Titus in Rome

For the first time

Seeing sculpted marble the image that I’ve seen in books my whole life

And I saw up close - the bodies of my ancestors

No longer free-

Forced to carry what the Romans had looted from the Holy Temple in Jerusalem

The golden menorah - the tables and tools for ritual observance

Taken from their home -

To live in exile just as the Jewish people

Scattered - broken -

And suddenly a history that has always felt more distant to me was right there, in the Roman Forum,

Was standing in front of me -

To quote my husband, “amidst all the tour groups, you have this massive monument that reminds you: No, this actually happened. Invaders destroyed our home, abducted our people, seized our property, and then went home and commemorated it. And you can see it with your own eyes. For us, it's not a tourist site.”

We stood there for a long time -

As tour groups moved on to other artifacts of note -

And we stayed - beneath the sweltering 100-degree sun - rooted in that place that was so symbolic of hatred and pain that Roman Jews were forbidden to walk underneath it, for 2000 years! until the founding of the state of Israel -

And without other words to make sense of the sadness and overwhelm we felt -

I pulled out my phone - and we read some verses from Eicha (the book of Lamentations)

“Judah has gone into exile because of misery and harsh oppression….She found no rest…There is none to comfort her. Our dancing has turned into mourning”

And then - unexpectedly -

I no longer felt the despair of Lamentations, instead -

A sense of defiance washed over me -

The knowledge of survival -

As I read ancient verses from my phone

A woman, a rabbi

As me - as a Jew -

I exist -

Even though I shouldn’t -

But what is important about our existence is this -

The Sages were obsessively determined to make sure that we knew that we didn’t survive just for survival’s sake

They ask over and over again - why was the Temple destroyed?

Despite the abundant proof otherwise - there’s an arch! - their answer was virtually never external - never about militaries or economics or geopolitics

They gave different answers -

They looked inward -

At the internal fabric of their society

At values that had slipped

At the soul of the People

Why did this happen, they asked?

Jerusalem was destroyed because the Jews were opting for distraction and indulgence rather than responsibility

Another answer: Because school children were interrupted from their studying -

Children could not be children -

Another reason -

Leaders were not distinguishing themselves with the heightened mantle of responsible leadership

And another -

Because no one would rebuke another -

No longer was there a sense of communal responsibility and accountability for the other

People could not be trusted

And yet another reason - perhaps the most well known story the rabbis tell about the cause of the destruction

Because of baseless hatred

Because we - could not- even for a moment, choose mercy and compassion over power and anger

What I know of these stories and explanations

Is that the rabbis needed there to be a reason for exile and suffering

Not as an explanation

But as a lesson and warning for future generations

Because surviving and being able to stand at the Arch of Titus as a Jew in 2022 isn’t enough

Celebrating our survival, while important, does not meet the purpose the Rabbis of the Talmud set out for us

The Significance of Judaism, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel taught, does not lie in its being conducive to the mere survival of a particular people, but rather in being a source of spiritual wealth, a source of meaning relevant to all peoples.”

Heschel is saying - we do not survive for the mere purpose of surviving -

He continues, “ Survival, mere continuation of being, is a continuation man has in common with animals. Characteristic of humanity is concern for what to do with survival… To be or not to be is not the question… How to be and how not to be is the question.

How to be - what sort of society and community to build towards -

The Rabbis said - if we build our communities from Chesed -

From lovingkindness

From mercy and kindness - we will be worthy of our existence; will be worthy of our survival

If we allow for children to be children

If we can compassionately help those who have wronged become better

If we can let truth and trust fill our mouths and homes

If our leaders can step up and lead and model

If we pay attention to the plight of the other

If we felt responsible for the other

If we replace baseless hatred with abundant love

Then -

Our survival will have been for something

And this survival - this existence is to be a joyous one

Just days after Tisha B’Av, the 9th of Av, where we mark the destruction of both Temples - as well as the calendrical holder of other tragedies in Jewish history - expulsions and exiles -

Where we read from the book of Lamentations -

Where we ground ourselves in a mythical moment of time when survival is not certain

Just 5 days later - - we observe Tu B’Av - the 15th of Av

What the rabbis tell us is one of the 2 most joyous days on the Jewish calendar -

The day of Love -

It is the balance to Tisha B’av

Where mourning is turned into dancing

Where hatred is replaced with love

Where judgment is tempered with mercy

It is the day of Love - on the Jewish calendar

When maidens would go out in orchard, robed in white, hoping to meet their beloveds

A day when all debate and division between the schools and tribes ceased -

Where mercy flourished -

Tu B’Av - reminds us, that as we think about the why of our existence - of our survival

That we have the capacity to do what the Sages modeled

They had very little control over geopolitics -

Some of us (not me, but some of us here) do have some control

But the world is much bigger than our individual forces

And yet -

We do still have a kind of force

We can always choose mercy -

Which the scholar Malcolm Bull defines as intentionally and successfully doing someone less harm than your power might enable you to

We can choose to stand at a monument to violence

What was just history for some, but was always about morality for us -

And consider how we are called toward mercy and responsibility

Towards a decision to make something of our survival.